My article submission for Gizmodo
Published on 14 Dec 2007 at 3:24 am.
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Filed under gizmodo, humor, offensive.
It looks like it’s pretty easy to get an article on Gizmodo — just pay them! Since I don’t have any money, I propose Gizmodo ask AMD for some money to publish my submission. I’m only asking for 25% of whatever they can get from AMD.
Title: Whatever you do, don’t get a Core 2 Duo!
Core 2 Duo processors are in a lot of computers these days, including Apple’s Macintosh line. There really are plenty of good reasons to hold off on getting one — I’m not just a sellout.
- Intel is going to come out with new processors next year. The new ones will be a lot faster, trust me, I know.
- They just released new compilers and your current software isn’t optimized with those compilers yet.
- You don’t want to fry your motherboard trying to overclock your new Core 2 Duo.
- Wait for a new competitor to show up. Other companies are always trying to make new chips and those could be faster and cheaper.
- Just get a Celeron.
- Wait for IDF, there could be a new heatsink specification… or something.
- No matter what, visit my site, it runs on a Core 2 Duo.
I realize that my headline may not meet with Gizmodo’s editorial guidelines if these recent gems are any indication:
T-Mobile’s Hotspot@Home is Like an Awkward, Pimply Teen that Can’t Score
Polarized Mirror LED Watch For the Self-Obsessed
Wii Attracts Roaches Like Week-Old Pizza, Your White Trash Cousins?
Anti-Social College Kids Build Autonomous Foosball Table
Canadian Hoser Runs Up $85,000 Mobile Phone Bill
Should my headline not meet to Gizmodo’s high standards I offer up this alternate: “Only socially-awkward, egotistical, acne-laden losers that can’t even get a hand job from their incestuous trailer-trash cousins buy Intel processors.”
And if AMD won’t cough-up some cash see if Intel will. I can easily re-work my article to trash AMD instead. First bullet: “AMD can’t be found in any Macs. Macs are really cool, trust me, I know!“
